Tuesday's Tidbit: Tightening your Manuscript

I get a rush when writing the first draft of a manuscript. The words sometimes flow too fast for my fingers to type them on the keyboard. The goal, initially, is just to get my ideas down on paper, before my muse grows tired and bails.

It's always 'fun' reading a first draft back after a month-long writing jag. Many times I'll grimace and think, "This is bad...I actually wrote this drivel?" In an effort to express that first drafts really do have promise and shouldn't be shotputted into the circular bin just yet, this blog is devoted to how writers can tighten their first draft and move on to a more polished manuscript.

There are a couple of words that end up interjected in many first drafts that really aren't necessary. They are little words of very little consequence, but when we write, we often pop them into our sentences like we do candy into our mouths. Two of the ones I see most often when editing are "that" and "of". As you review that first draft, take a minute to edit out those two short words. In doing so, you may be surprised to find, in many cases, your intent has stayed the same, but the manuscript reads clearer and tighter.

Another key is to read your manuscript aloud. I have been known to laugh big belly laughs at the cheesy dialogue that comes out of my characters' mouths. For example, we don't always preface our dialogue by saying the person's name. "Good morning, Rebecca. How was your day?" "It was wonderful, John." Now, doesn't that sound the slightest bit like, "See Dick run", from the generic first grade reader? When we read our MS out loud, our ear catches those stilted, formal patterns that would never be uttered in every day speak, and we can edit them to sound more natural.

In reviewing my manuscript, there are times things will run smoothly, and then I hit a sentence that sounds awkward, or wordy, or just doesn't flow right. It's frustrating when you find a problem sentence, but you can't figure out a way to reword it that doesn't sound equally as wooden and choppy. Some advice I got once was to rewrite several different versions of the sentence. Obviously, you don't want to edit out your meaning, but try alternative verbs, sentence lengths, different phraseology. Maybe you'll hit on a version that breathes life to you, and you can slide it into your manuscript so it reads more smoothly and succinctly than it ever has before.

Lastly, when you are writing YA literature it is totally acceptable to use contractions. This is a great way to help your manuscript read more like real life, leaving the awkward stilted wording for B-rated movies. "She can't do it anymore" sounds infinitely better than "She cannot do it anymore." An added bonus is that using contractions cuts down on your word count, if that is something, like me, you are constantly keeping an eye on.

I love the review option on Word, but my editing always comes up in red ink. By the time the page number changes, half of what I've been working on looks like it's bled out. I feel like my red pen has done a Freddy Krueger, from the old slasher movies, and gone postal on my manuscript. I often liken my drafts to my other children, and after editing, they invariably look as if it has suffered a bloody fate at my hands.

Editing can be a daunting task. I've just cut over 2,000 words from my manuscript, so I get it. However, once I've completed the 2nd and 3rd round of revisions, I usually feel a sense of accomplishment. My baby's nip and tuck has yielded a copy that sounds better and reads more true than my initial bloated version. In the end, my red pen, Freddy, and I couldn't be more thrilled at the results.

"I have never thought of myself as a good writer. Anyone who wants reassurance of that should read one of my first drafts. But I'm one of the world's great rewriters."

---James A. Michener

Tuesday's Tidbits: Adjectives and Adverbs

I'd like to introduce you to two of my biggest nemeses as a writer: adjectives and adverbs. On the surface they appear to be great friends. They describe actions and people, places and feelings just how you imagined them. What could be better, right?


Well, when it comes to writing, adjectives and adverbs often crowd the space in a sentence and in your readers' minds. They're often empty calories and extra weight.

Confession time. I'm guilty of gorging on bulimic-size numbers of -ly words and noun descriptors for that matter. Why, then, do I do this when I know it doesn't make for good writing? I can put all kinds of spin on it, but the bare-bones is, I'm lazy. Description words are too easy to pull from my repertoire, especially the ones so old and tired, they're begging to start claiming Social Security.


Here's a recommendation, and it comes from a wonderful resource book, called The First Five Pages, by Noah Lukeman. Lukeman suggests removing all adverbs and adjectives from your first draft. No need for a Q-tip. I did say all of them. After putting your MS on a diet free of delectable descriptors, re-read your text. Chances are you'll find you have a sleeker, smoother version of your manuscript, but one that still retains its shape, when it comes to content. After, you can inject some of the descriptory adjectives/adverbs back into your writing, but partake sparingly (kind of like ice cream :D).


Another take on this task is to remove the adverbs and adjectives from your work and find synonyms that are less well-used or cliche to replace them. See how they fit. Sometimes, you'll only retain one or two of these new alternatives in the next draft. Still, this exercise serves an important purpose. It hones your writer's eye to more inventive ways of describing things. With these exercises, Lukeman offers us ways to improve our works in progress. I've done variations on both of these tasks, and they make a big difference in how my page reads.


The argument that finally convinced this descriptor addict to put her MS on a weight-loss plan occurred to me while reading one night.


Overusing adjectives and adverbs doesn't give your reader enough credit. Readers don't want everything spelled out, like the ingredients in a cookbook. This may seem a strange analogy, but it reminds me of the first time I saw "Twilight" on the big screen. I was a fan of the book series, but for some reason the films disappointed me. When I tried to identify why, I realized that no matter how I gift-wrapped it, Kristen Stewart was never going to be the Bella Swan I pictured in my head. The silver screen version of the character and the Bella in my head didn't jibe. (No offense to Kristen!)


Allow readers to imagine their own sunset. The colors and feelings evoked in their imaginations, may be entirely different than yours. Trust your readers to 'get it', without hauling out the bib and high chair. Having everything in black and white makes for a boring read.


Readers trust you as a writer to guide them on a fantastic journey from 'Once upon a time' to 'The End'. Don't disappoint by being too wordy about it. Let their own imaginations be the vehicle that transports them where they want to go.

However great a man's natural talent may be, the act of writing cannot be learned all at once.
---Jean Jacques Rousseau

On-line and ready to write!

Do you remember getting a new book as a kid? I do. I would tote my new find around the bookstore and literally smell the pages---strange, huh? While I admit I was probably a good candidate for therapy, I was so mesmerized by the promise of those pages I wanted to take them in with all of my senses. I couldn't wait to discover the storyline, the characters I would meet, the setting it would take me to.

That's how I feel today. I'm embarking on a blog---it's a new adventure for me. I'm excited to meet new friends, learn new things, and I hope it takes me new places.

My goal for this blog is to mix writing with life. To write about my life---from the consequential to the inconsequential, and to show a little about my life and journey as a writer.

I have always loved a good road trip---the sound of the miles swallowed up under the tires, the music belting, and especially the company of good friends. I hope you'll hop in and join me on my journey. Until I get the feel of the road, we may run into a few bumps along the way, but then I hope it will be blue skies and good times.

The muscles of writing are not so visible, but they are just as powerful:

determination, attention, curiosity, a passionate heart.

--Natalie Goldberg